Easter at the Cemetery

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. It started the way any Easter should, with Dayne waking up excited, wanting to hunt for eggs. I thought about Dayne's first Easter and how cute he was and how cute Alexandra would have have been. I thought about how our table would have looked, with Dayne's Phineas and Ferb and Webkinz themed gifts and something girly, Dora, or Disney Princess for Alexandra. I probably shouldn't do that, but these are the things I'm missing out on, and I am so very aware of it.
And, as with all of our holidays, we visited the cemetery. It was the most difficult holiday visit. I tried not to cry as we stood there, looking at our daughter's headstone. I didn't want to ruin Dayne's day, he is able to bring Alexandra's memory into everything that he does in such a positive way, he is able to stand at her grave and say "Hi Alexandra!" with a smile. He doesn't know how different it would have been if she was here, he just accepts that this is the way it is and that's ok.
Steve's sister had been to the cemetery before us and she had left an Easter basket there for Alexandra. It had a stuffed bunny and a ceramic bunny and it even had some chocolate eggs in it. Alexandra had been included like any other niece or nephew in her life and it was so touching to me. Dayne announced as he noticed the basket, "Look Mommy! The Easter bunny even came to see Alexandra!"
We made it through the last first holiday without Alexandra, and this week we will make it through her first birthday, together.