Oh Christmas Tree

Dayne has been asking and asking about the Christmas tree. I have been putting it off for a while. I had planned on putting it up the first day of December, but it's just seemed like such a sad thing to do. To hang Alexandra's little angel kitty, to really face that fact that that's it for Alexandra's Christmas stuff, there will be no gifts under the tree for her, there will be no "My first Christmas" outfits, gifts, pictures and ornaments. None of that. It's hard.
But the tree had to be put up because I don't get to cancel Christmas. And I had to go to the toy store and buy gifts for other kids and see all those cute little girl things. We included Alexandra in gift buying by purchasing an angel star and marking it as from Alexandra. There is still time and we plan to donate some more things in her name, which help. And we got her stocking, handmade by a dear friend. It even has her name on it. Which we are hoping to be able to fill up with the random acts of kindness that everyone has done in her honor.
So, while it was difficult, we got to the tree last night. The first ornament I put on the tree was Alexandra's. I put it right at the top, in the front, just down from the tree topper angel. It's the first thing I see every time I look at the tree. It's sad, but at the same time, it's nice to know she's being included.