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Monday, September 6, 2010

Alexandra's Memorial

It rained.
I was worried about the butterflies, I told Steve "We will have to release them into a bush so their wings don't get wet." It wasn't what I had pictured, but it would have to do. Somehow, we ran late. The balloons took extra time to blow up, I hadn't brought enough bags for them, the woman at the store argued with me about strings for them. I had explained that I didn't want strings because they are hazardous to animals, I had bought biodegradable balloons, I wasn't going to harm animals just so I could have a balloon release, and especially not so I could have strings!
Dayne was naughty, he was running around and wanting to play, he was excited that so many people were there at the cemetery. He is used to this place, he seemed proud of it, proud of his sister's resting place. He urged his cousins to play at the park, to run in the grass away from the graves. He didn't seem to understand what was going on.
When everyone had arrived and held tightly to their balloons, we got started. I had written a small speech. I had read it over and over again, I read it out loud in my home, to get used to it. I didn't want to cry, I wanted to read it calmly, so everyone would hear my words, would hear about our dreams for Alexandra. When I got in front of everyone though, it wasn't the same. I didn't even make it through my first sentence. With the tears, came frustration, I was shaking and my Grandma walked over and put her arm around me. She gave me the strength to continue reading through the tears.
When I was done speaking, those of us releasing butterflies, went over to the bushes. The butterflies took some coaxing, but the crawled out of the box and onto the bush. When they were successfully in their place, we walked back and I told everyone holding a balloon that they could let it go. I chose to use many different colors, instead of just pink. I wanted Alexandra to have a rainbow and she got one. It was beautiful.
It was amazing to share that day with our family. I know that Alexandra was looking down on us, I know that she was happy to see us gathered there for her. I know.

Edited to add that right before we opened the boxes to release the butterflies, Dayne opened his a tiny crack and quietely whispered in: "Great Spirit, please tell my baby sister Alexandra that I love her" It was one of the most touching moments I have ever shared with my sweet little guy.


  1. It sounds like it was perfect. ((HUGS))

  2. Oh Melissa. <3 It sounds beautiful.

  3. Sounds absolutely perfect even with the tears.