September 2nd, 2010

Yesterday was Dayne's first day of school. It was an open house and parents were allowed to go to school with the child. As I got ready for our day I thought about how I had made arrangements for Alexandra for this day. I had planned childcare for her, so far in advance. This would have been the first time I left her alone with someone. I would have been so nervous. Thinking about how I had made these arrangements, it brought up in my mind my plans. I have talked about my plans before, but it always seems to come up.
We walked to school and on the walk, while Dayne ran slightly ahead, I thought about how I would tell his teacher's about Alexandra. How does one bring this up? What would I say? How would I respond when the oh so common "I'm so sorry" came up. I sat with Dayne in a tiny chair at a tiny table while he drew a picture and pondered what to play with. I filled out some forms and sadly circled "no" when it asked if Dayne had any siblings. I wondered if I should circle yes...does an angel count? Would I look sane if I circled yes? There I go, adding complications to things.
When I was finished the teacher came over and sat with Dayne and I. She looked at the form and while she looked at the question about siblings, she asked Dayne "Do you have any brothers or sisters" My Dayne, so honest, so uncomplicated simply said "Well, actually I do, but she's not here right now" The teacher looked confused, looked back at the sheet and then at me. I explained the story and explained that we would not be telling Dayne to not talk about his sister. The teacher was extremely understanding, she was kind and apologetic. She explained that Dayne should be allowed to talk about his sister, that it's important and if he does frequently, they will ask my permission to speak with the class about it. When the other teacher found out, she expressed to me that she had lost a younger sibling to stillbirth when she was young. She can relate to Dayne.
I think that Dayne will be ok in his class. I know that Alexandra will watch over him, and now I know that his teacher's will acknowledge Dayne's baby sister.