September 4th, 2010

Today was a birthday celebration for my Grandmother's husband. He is basically the only grandfather I have ever known, and one of my favorite people in this world. He turns 78 on Tuesday. It was a special day for him and so I went.
It was strange for me though. I have had get togethers with close friends and family since we lost Alexandra, but this was my first get together with people that knew about what happened but aren't close, or knew but didn't acknowledge it in any way. I felt awkward, it was strange for me.
I was not comfortable, but I worked hard to get over my own feelings...and eventually I did.
It was a nice time with family and there was some hush, hush comments about "see you tomorrow" as people left, and as we left. A few comments about people talking or not talking "tomorrow"
You see, tomorrow is Alexandra's memorial. Her butterfly release and balloon release. This day that I have been working towards for several months, this very special day when we are going to join together to say a united goodbye to the angel in our family.
Tomorrow is a very important day. I have an image in my head of what it will be like, and how it will go and I just know that Alexandra will be watching tomorrow and smiling as we gather together to honor her.