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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Impact Of Grief

I know that I have talked about the timeline other people have on my grief. I hate it. I have noticed though, that people don't just put time lines on other people's grief. They also hold judgments about how people should grieve. I've seen this so much, for so many people. When I hear people passing judgement on how someone is dealing with a horrible situation, how they are grieving, or how they are memorializing a loved one, I can't help but wonder where they got the idea that it was OK to judge?
I don't think I will ever understand the mindset that comes with deciding how some other person should cope with a loss. I mean really, who do people think they are?
I believe that grief is the most complicated set of emotions that a person can go through. You have sadness and anger, you feel defeated and tired. You are on a roller coaster daily...And if that wasn't bad enough, you get to have random strangers telling you how you should grieve, how you shouldn't grieve, what you're allowed to say and do and what you aren't allowed to say and do. And for what? To make themselves feel better?
When are we, as human beings, going to get over our own hang-ups and just be supportive of other people when they are dealing with a loss?


  1. Amen Sister. I couldnt agree more.

  2. I also agree with you. This is a huge issue for babylost mothers. All you really want is someone to hold you when you cry, listen when you vent and never judge. I don't understand why anyone would think they can judge someone else's feelings of grief.

  3. I agree, people do need to be more supportive in general. Grief is definitely a roller coaster of emotions and its tiring at times to live like this DAILY. We have good moments and difficult moments, but that should be expected. Its hard for others, I get that, but how hard do they think this is on the parents' and siblings experiencing it.