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Sunday, August 8, 2010

September Long Weekend

We have made the decision about our September long weekend.
Last September long weekend we were in Banff. It is the place we go whenever we have time. I love it there. I could tell that something was going on, but I didn't really realize. I DID think that Steve would propose to me that day, but I thought that it would be over dinner, and it wouldn't be romantic. He had everything all planned and set up before we got there...I had no idea.
After he had distracted me in the Cascade Ballroom, he left. A few minutes later, the concierge that had been used to distract me, directed to me the stairs outside the ballroom. As I walked a few steps down I saw rose pedals. I thought that they were from a wedding that had just finished in the ballroom, but when I kept going I discovered that I was wrong. The rose pedals went to the bottom of the stairs and at the bottom, made out of more rose pedals, there was a heart, in the middle of the heart, was Steve, down on one knee.
My reaction was pure shock. And as I reached the bottom of the stairs, with tears in my eyes, Steve started to talk. He had a little speech planned, and I must admit that my shock and surprise kept me from remembering his words that day. I only remember him asking me to marry him. And as a small group of tourists clapped and cheered, I said yes.
He chose the most perfect ring for me, just my style. I was ecstatic. We went out for dinner to celebrate. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.
On that day, I thought about our future. Our wedding, our future children, our life together. It was everything I had ever imagined and everything I had ever dreamed of and I was truly, truly happy.
I never would have guessed, not in a million years, that on the one year anniversary of our engagement, we would be having a memorial for our daughter.
The decision that we made for this September long weekend, the opposite of that magical long weekend of last year...Our daughter's memorial. Allowing our family and friends to celebrate the life of a little girl that they never got to meet. To say goodbye to a little girl that they never got to watch grow or see smile...A little girl that most of them never got to see.
If someone had told me last September long weekend that this is where I would be in one year, I would have told them that they were a liar.

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