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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Alexandra's Headstone

Alexandra's headstone should be installed any day now. I counted ahead and it was around the middle of the July that I expected to get the email that it was ready to go. I check my email all the time, and still nothing. I know I must have been off in my counting, I must have counted six weeks ahead of when everything was finalized, not eight weeks as I had thought. Yet still, I think that Alexandra has a plan for her headstone.
I have probably mentioned here before that every time I'm having a REALLY bad day, every time an anniversary of something rolls around, something good happens.
Flowers come, a card, the man called about Alexandra's pictures on the two month anniversary of her birth. It's always something, some little thing to let me know that she's there, that she's watching over me. Something to make her mama happy. You know, I am a firm believer in an afterlife, spirits hanging around to check up on us, all that kind of thing, but never in a million years would I have thought I would be saying something like that this. It's true though. Our children are around us, watching over us, hugging us when we're sad, wiping away our tears. If you just pay attention, you will see.
And I wonder, when will Alexandra let the headstone be installed? Will it be the three month anniversary of her birth? The three month anniversary of the day we went to the hospital because she wasn't moving? Maybe a birthday present for mama? Or maybe, it will just be a day that is especially hard for me, a day that I miss her more than I can bear and she will give me that gift. And I will not walk, but run to the cemetery and look at her headstone. A gift that so many people contributed to. I will take pictures of course, and post them here, and I will write about which day it was that my little angel touched, and how she made me believe even more that she was around me, watching over, playing an active roll in my life.

1 comment:

  1. The day Alexandra's headstone was installed was THE day that I had a feeling it was there...I dragged my husband to the cemetary and sure enough, there it was! I'm a big believer in our babies sending us signs and letting us know they are watching over us. :) I know your Alexandra will send you some wonderful sign too! I can't wait to hear about it.