Blogger Templates

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

At therapy this week, I talked about how Alexandra had affected my life. It wasn't something I had been asked, rather the way my rambling had gone. The words ended up just falling out of my mouth. "Alexandra renewed my faith in humanity."
Long ago I had lost it, I'd become jaded. People just aren't nice, I would say. Like anyone else, bad things had happened to me. I tried to see the bright side of things, no matter what I always kept on going, but the impact on my spirit was unmistakably there. I think I began to take the good things for granted, I overlooked the little gifts that life delivered me and focused on the negativity. Steve used to lovingly and sarcastically call me "Little Miss Sunshine"
After we lost Alexandra people surrounded us with love. There were some people that really didn't understand what we were going through, or make an effort to, but they were far over shadowed by all the people that cared. From those that we knew and loved to complete strangers, people rallied around us. I received phone calls, emails, messages on websites, cards, flowers and gifts and people offering to help pay for everything from the funeral home, burial plot and headstone, to butterflies to release at her memorial. All from people that just wanted to lift me up. It's unbelievable, it's unreal, it's something that I never would have imagined.
Beyond opening my eyes to the fact that all hope isn't lost for humankind, Alexandra also made me realize just how lucky I am for what I have. I'm grateful for Dayne like I have never been before. I am grateful for Steve. I don't even mind wiping my dogs muddy paws anymore because I'm grateful for him and his muddy paws. I'll be so much more grateful for another child, if we ever have one.
I'm still sad. I still don't think it's fair that I lost my daughter. I believe that I could have learned all these things another way, WITH my daughter, not because of her. But, my little angel has a purpose and it makes me hopeful to know that all was not lost with her, she gave her mommy a gift that I never thought I would get. A gift that I will remember always. And while I struggle with being bitter about what happened, and while I struggle with my deep feelings of just how unfair this was, I try to take a moment to remember every day, what my little angel taught me. Love crosses all boundaries, love continues beyond death and love renews.
I have rambled slightly. The whole point of this was what my conversation with my therapist caused me to remember. It's a poem and I'm sure everyone has heard it before, but it has never really rang so true to my life.
For my Alexandra, who I was blessed with for a season and a reason, may I one day be with her for a lifetime.

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown


  1. I really enjoy writing down the gifts that Valentina has given me. <3 It makes me feel comforted.

  2. What a beautiful post...

    I placed something in the post for you yesterday! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to the post office.

  3. What a great post! Thank you for sharing. It's nice to think of the good things our babies have given to us. XO