Throughout this time in my life, I have encountered a lot of kindness. I sit here a lot and dwell on the sad things. The promises people made or the things people said they would do for Alexandra and then they didn't and it's not OK for me to do that. Today, I decided to focus on the good things. Of course, I am so grateful for all the people that think about my Alexandra every day, those that have done something with her name, those that pray for her, those that have taken the time to send me their kind words. I'm thankful for everyone that sent cards, flowers, fruit arrangements, books, and everything else that arrived the few weeks after we lost Alexandra. I'm grateful to wear my bracelet with Alexandra's name and birthday engraved on it and the words "Always and forever" I wear it every day and I think of her every time I put it on, take it off, or hear it jingle. I appreciate those that read my blog and have walked this journey with me. I know I am not alone because of you.
I got a handkerchief in the mail the other day. It was from a woman that sends them to mothers who have lost a child. The words "For Your Tears" was sewn onto it in mauve. It is beautiful and touching, and I love it.
In focusing on the good things, I began to look on Ebay for little gifts for the nurses at the hospital and the celebrant. There is a woman that I bought bracelets from for Dayne's teacher's at Christmas. They come with a little scroll with a poem written on it, they are beautiful and the poems are always tear jerkers. The woman has bracelets and necklaces for all sorts of things, cancer, autism, crohns disease, you name it, she's got it. And she had several for infant loss, and they are lovely.
As I was deciding which to get and how many, I started to think that I am missing people. What do we give the photographer to let him know how grateful we are? And who am I missing?
So, I take it here and I ask all of you, who are you thankful for? All the mommies that have lost a child, who impacted your life in the most positive way during your most difficult time? Who do you give the most thanks to?
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I think I'm most thankful for all the fellow mommies out there I have met along the way (which includes you!). Without their support and kindness, I really do not know where I would be today. It's been amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for the nurses and hospital staff who took the time to send me a card the other day, almost 6 months later, to let me know they still cared and to hope that I was doing alright. It meant so much.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you like your handkerchief. It was my pleasure to send it to you. Wish I could do more to heal your heart.
ReplyDeleteI am most grateful to my mother. Who stopped her own life to help me piece mine together. She told me I had to put one foot in front of the other, Shower, dress and put on makeup, everyday no matter how bad you feel. She taught me to go through the motions until one day hopefully there will be more than motions and life will begin again. She spent everyday with me for probually 3 months and still calls me several times a day. If it wasn't for her I might still have my head under the covers.
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