Today it rained. Well, it actually stormed. Rolling thunder, flashing lightening, buckets of rain and pea sized hail. When it rains, I open all the windows in the house and Dayne and I run from window to watching the rain and smelling the air. I love the way rain smells, it's my favorite smell.
Today there was a seagull in the middle of our cul-de-sac, just standing in the road, beak to the sky, in the middle of the storm. Dayne insisted that we go outside and make sure it didn't have a boo boo. I promised as soon as the hail slowed down, if it was still there, we would check. We've been known to try to rescue birds we think are injured only to have the fly away when we get close, I didn't want to get pelted with hail to have that happen. The seagull eventually flew away, which was too bad because I was looking forward to going out to check out the bird.
This morning, before the storm, I babysat our niece. She's one, and looks just like a doll, she's the cutest little things. Her mom and I used to talk about how our daughters would grow up so close because they are so close in age. We did a lot this morning. We went to the park, went for a walk, and walked to my sister's house to visit. We stopped at the store to get some treats. Dayne helped with the door and sat near the wagon just in front of the aisle as I ran down to get some cheezies. My niece fell asleep in the wagon and Dayne and I walked, holding hands and talking. It was just what I imagined for Dayne and Alexandra and I. It made me sad. Sometimes I have a hard time with seeing my niece because she's such a sweet little girl and so much about her reminds me of my dreams for Alexandra. I try very hard to push all those feelings aside though, because I love my niece, I love spending time with her. I tell myself that these feelings, and others that I have, are irrational and I need to move away from them.
It was a fun morning, it felt very busy, and I'm left tired this afternoon, but we had fun and it was nice to spend time with such a little sweet heart.
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Those feelings are definitely not irrational. I think they are quite natural for you to have. Of course you would think of Alexandra during times like these and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I'm glad you had a nice time with your niece. (((HUGS)))
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