Blogger Templates

Sunday, June 27, 2010


Today Dayne and I had a peaceful day. We played in the yard and I used my painted rocks to make some pictures for some other Angel moms. It made me feel very calm.
I waited for Steve to arrive home so that we could go to the cemetery and when he arrived, Dayne and I were outside waiting. As I type this, I am trying to remember what we talked about on the way there. The memory has escaped. Instead, it's place has been taken over by what we discovered when we arrived at the cemetery.
As we pulled up Steve pointed out that another child had been buried beside Alexandra. A wave of sadness swept over me. That poor little baby. As we got closer we noticed that the mound of dirt over Alexandra's grave was bigger and we questioned why. As I walked up to her grave I noticed dirty stuffed animals thrown on the cement area where a headstone should be and I thought I must be walking up to the wrong grave.
I wasn't.
It was in the moment that I realized that someone had thrown my daughters stuffed animals and pin wheel up there that Steve noticed something far worse. His words were choked out, "Where's the rosary? Where's Alexandra's Rosary?" I felt my head snap quickly towards the mound of dirt and he was right, it was gone.
The realization washed over us that the people that worked at the cemetery had done all of this. It became obvious that when they dug the plot beside Alexandra's, they had removed her toys and tossed them aside and they had piled the dirt on top of my daughter's grave. This realization led to the understanding that this meant that when they filled in that grave, they pushed our daughter's rosary into it.
My brain shut down. I sat down and started pushing the dirt aside at the top of her grave to put her toys back where they belonged. It was all I could do. I'm terrified of bugs, I noticed the ants and the spiders crawling in the dirt, and on my hands as I moved the dirt, but my hands didn't stop, I was on auto pilot. When I finished putting the toys back I became aware of my surroundings again and I noticed Steve...He was digging frantically. He was wearing white work gloves and he was pushing aside all the dirt. Searching desperately for the rosary that we had lovingly chosen on the same day we picked her last outfit, her last teddy bear, her last everything.
But he wouldn't find the rosary, because the rosary is buried in someone else's grave now, and the cemetery is not going to go digging there looking for it. It's just gone.
Steve is furious. I am furious.
How could someone be so disrespectful to us? To our daughter? Don't they care? What is WRONG with these people? That last question, that is the one that keeps going through my head. WHAT is WRONG with these people? Have they no hearts? Forget their hearts, have they no BRAINS?
When we arrived back at home I cried. I was numb at the cemetery, and then furious, and then the sadness hit, like a punch in the gut. And I cried.
When I was done crying, I called the city's 24 hour line and I lodged a complaint. Tomorrow I will call the cemetery and lodge a complaint with them. They can't get my my daughter's rosary back, they can't make me feel better, but they WILL know what they have done and how they have hurt us. And they will NOT do this again to another family. They will understand, when I am done with them, that what has happened is disrespectful, cold hearted and terrible and it cannot happen again. And they will understand how important that rosary was to us and how they can never replace it.

I understand that I have glossed over the fact that another child as passed away. I feel horribly for this child's family and I hope that they find peace. I have no real words for how sad I am to see that another child has joined my daughter.


  1. I am so so sorry and angered at the carelessness of the workers. :( I am so angry.

    Everything is so unfair.

  2. I am so very sorry. Big hugs to you.

  3. Oh how horrible. I am so sorry. So very sorry.

    I make rosaries every now and again, and I'd be honored to make one for Alexandra. Please shoot me an email if you'd like me to.