Today I had therapy. I wasn't excited to go, I thought about staying home. I'm glad I didn't. The urge to just stay home is one that I fight often. I don't want to leave my house, I don't even want to leave my bed most days. But, life carries on, even when everything in us wishes it would just stop for a few minutes.
So, I got up and went, and I'm glad that I did. My appointment was 50 minutes long, but I ended up being there for nearly half an hour more than was scheduled. I didn't cry today, instead we talked about safe topics, but in a way that was more helpful than when I have similar safe conversations with other people.
I spoke about my search for "the truth" an when I did so, my therapist (I'll really never get used to saying "m therapist, how strange that I have a therapist) gave me a pamphlet, and on it was several quotes from different religions. A few touched my heart, so I plan to share them here, one days when someone elses words come stronger than my own.
Today I am going to share one that I am dedicating to all the other loss moms that happen to read this blog. No matter what you believe, this is a beautiful image and one I imagine everyone can appreciate.
"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
-Eskimo Proverb-
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Aw, I think I have that quote on my Facebook page. It's really beautiful. I remember right after my loss, I'm pretty sure I didn't leave my house for like 2 entire months! Other than dr. appts., cemetary, that was it! Some days I still wish I could just stay home, but life carries on. *sigh& I'm glad you were glad about going to therapy. I hope you are able to find a lot of support through it and also these blogs of course. :)
ReplyDeleteI also love that quote. It makes me think of Jenna and my granny. Therapy is a good thing. I'm now back in school to become a therapist to help women and families who have lost a child during pregnancy or later, too. I basically want to be a grief counselor. Hugs to you. Continue with the therapy. It's a good thing.
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