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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Tomorrow is Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day and Steve is working. I am sad that he has to work on his special day. He has put in his gift request, for a baseball glove and bat for him and Dayne, so they  can play ball together. He'll be getting it, of course.
I'm not sure if Father's Day brings up the same, or even similar emotions for Steve that Mother's Day brought for me and I'm afraid to ask. I don't want to upset him, he seems to be moving forward ok without pouring his heart out. I know myself very well and I will bring it up later tonight, just to know for sure if I should say anything, or give him an extra long hug tomorrow...which I will do no matter what he says, but it's nice to hear his thoughts and feelings anyway.
Today we hunted for gifts for my stepdad and my my Grandma's husband, who is by all rights, my Grandfather. Though they got married when I was 12 and everyone seemed to think I was too old to call him Grandpa. He's one of my favorite people in this world and he's impossible to shop for! I settled on something that I will not mention here, in case he's reading. I think it's a pretty alright gift though. I wish I had thought of something GREAT, but I couldn't.
While we searched we went into this store that I love. It has all these ceramic angels that have poems written on their dresses. I love to read the poems and always want to buy them for people but never know if other people will appreciate them the way that I do. Those kind of things are only good for a small group, most people don't like nick nacks like that.
In any event, I was looking at the mugs, I thought maybe a mug would be a good gift, but I wasn't finding any that fit. It's so weird that they target women for all this stuff, even the mugs. The angels and the candle holders, I can see, but the mugs? Men use mugs. Maybe most men prefer funny mugs or something, I don't know.
I found a mug that I loved though. I will buy that mug, the next time I'm shopping for myself. I showed Steve and he seemed to agree that this mug was very suited to me and my life at this moment. The quote on the mug read:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away"
A common quote, I'm sure, but it's one of those things that just speaks to you. I wonder if this is a good idea for Steve. Although, now that he knows *I* want that mug, he'd probably think I was pulling a Homer Simpson with the bowling ball by giving him that mug.
I had planned on paying for us to go visit Steve's family for Father's Day, so Steve could visit with his dad and everyone could meet our daughter. How plans change. I wish this was his first father's day as the Daddy of a little girl. Tomorrow will be another bittersweet day, for us and so many other people.
I'll be thinking of all the loss mommies spending the day with loss daddies, may you all have a peaceful day tomorrow.

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