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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Question Eleven

Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

Well, I would like to apologize that so many of my pictures include Dayne. I always feel like it might be hurtful to people to see pictures of a child considering the point of this blog. At the same time, Dayne is such a huge part of my life, I feel like it wouldn't be honest for me to not talk about him or include him.
So, the most recent picture of me is of Dayne and I on his first day of school. I avoid camera's these days, so there's not really much to choose from.
This picture makes me feel sad. It was so hard for me to let him go. He was my brave little guy though and was excited to go to school.
My life should have been so different... That picture should have included Alexandra. I should have dropped him off that day and headed out with my daughter in tow. I should have been waiting there to pick Dayne up from school every day with his baby sister. There is a mom there that has a daughter the same age that Alexandra would be. I see her there, waiting for her son to come out of school, holding her daughter, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Dayne being in school in general is hard though, because of all the plans I had made and all the hope I had for how great it would be. And while it's still great that my little guy is in school and he loves it, there is something monumental missing.

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