Question One

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.


I've posted about this before. The day after we found out we had lost Alexandra, on our drive to the hospital, the only thing I remember is a song that played on the radio. I remember the drive just a little bit more clearly now, it's like the fog of shock has lifted and now things are little bit more clear. I still don't recall what we talked about, or anything else that came on the radio, but I now have small memories of holding Steve's hand and thinking about how this could NOT be happening to us, how COULD this be happening to us? WHY was this happening to us? This wasn't fair.
But the song...the song was Hey, Soul Sister by Train. And every time I heard that song I was back in the car, on that terrible and sad day. And I never wanted to listen to it or hear it on the radio, I would leave a place where it played, I would change the station if it came on somewhere.
At Dayne's birthday party that song played. It was August 29th, Alexandra's 4 month birthday, and as I sat there my birth son told me how he loved that song. Drawing my attention to it even more. There was something in that moment, that made that song not so much a horrible memory, but something connecting Alexandra to a moment with her oldest brother. And I didn't know what to say. Up until that point my opinion was "I HATE that song" but in that moment it all changed and I loved the song too.